Update: Month 5

As I sit here writing this I have exactly one week left of work before a summer hiatus from June 6th through August 13th.

I was feeling so great in May and was going in for a thyroid test that I asked my doctor to add a few other tests just to make sure my body is moving in the right direction. Many of the blood tests came back normal and the best news was that my fasting blood sugar dropped from January when it was hovering around 100. Unfortunately, I am mildly anemic again and my inflammatory markers were as high as when I was in the hospital in December. 

This news sent me into a strange new emotion I can only describe as a frustration panic. Part of me was angry, the other part scared. I'm doing my best to not let it get to me and I will retest in July along with an MRI to see if the inflammation has gone down. 

Next steps. for 4 weeks in the month of June I'm taking a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class (MBSR). I also signed up for my first ballet class since college. I knew I kept all those leotards and tights for a reason. When I was young dance was my meditation and I made a goal with my health coach to get back into it. Low and behold my sister-in-law said she wanted to take a ballet class and we signed up together. Sometimes the pieces of life fall so perfectly it makes me wonder at the magic of the universe...

I am busy planning a summer of healing (and cleaning my house, which is healing in a way). I encourage everyone to do the same. Find activities or practices which allow you to fully immerse yourself in the moment, then your worries will fade away at least for a few moments, which is sometimes all we can ask. 

Update: Month 4

Spring is so good for the body and soul. Every day I wake up with gratitude and awe of this life. For those of you lucky enough to live in Chicago in springtime you know what I'm talking about.

At the beginning of April I met with the director of the Infectious Disease department at my hospital. He felt very strongly that the inflammation in my bone & muscle is not an infection. This is very good news and has given me some peace of mind. Of course, this is not as definitive as a negative biopsy or MRI, but I've decided to embrace it. 

This month I also started reading a book entitled "The Last Best Cure" by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. It is about the new science behind "psychoneuroimmunology" or PNI for short. This is an exciting discovery about the connection between the nervous system and immune system. Basically, emotional stress triggers chronic disease. I will be posting a review of this book and my (extensive) thoughts surrounding this topic as soon as I'm finished.  

Another learning experience was my gluten binge on the last day of our trip when we were in Austria. I'm telling you people I ate it all: 3 pretzels, 2 strudels (I had to try both apple and cheese), and 2 mugs of Austrian beer. I loved every minute of it, but I paid for it the entire week after we got back. This has made it a lot easier for me to stay away from gluten going forward. 

I've been thinking a lot about this healing journey and how I will know when I'm "better," because I feel so much better, but I know my body still needs me to be patient. Reading the quote at the bottom of this post helps me to understand that there may be no precise ending point to this journey, but maybe I will know I'm better when I have a new way of looking at my health.

If I had to name a percentage of how much better I feel today here at the end of April, than I did in December I would say 70% better, with intermittent days where it feels more like 50%. Here's to the next few renewing months of spring and summer inching me even closer to that 100% (and beyond).  

Update: Month 3

March ended in a whirlwind leading up to a fantastic baby shower for a friend, duties at church, the always full of chaos week before spring break at work, and putting the finishing touches planning our trip to Germany. I used to feed off being busy, but busy is no longer my friend. I did my best to find peaceful moments to center myself. 

So, I'm a little late publishing because we've been in Germany the past week (the trip will be chronicled in a different blog). 

March was a month of contradictions. The weather contradicted itself, so did the doctors. 

Through my healing journey I've assembled a group of doctors around Chicagoland. I have a fantastic primary care doctor, who emails me back in a timely manner and is very patient with me. My rheumatologist is a leading researcher on Anklosing Spondylitis. Practically the entire team of Infectious Disease doctors at Northwestern knows me. I work with a smart and passionate Functional Medicine doctor. I have a chiropractor who is careful with his adjustments and would rather me make lasting lifestyle changes. My acupuncturist sees me as a whole body, not a disease. My health coach is a great listener and helps me see things in new ways, the hallmark of a good therapist. 

It sounds like I'm in good hands. The only problem is that none of them agree with each other and I'm stuck being the one to decide what is best for me. On one hand that's incredibly empowering. On the other hand...that is A LOT of pressure!

So, this is what I've figured out works for me:
-Rest, rest, rest 
-Routine (so boring, I know!)
-Positive distractions (walks, writing spending time with friends, movies, etc.)
-Sunshine  
-Visualization 
-A diet free from sugar, dairy, eggs, gluten and processed foods
-Acupuncture & chiropractic care
-Curcumin: A natural anti-inflammatory 

This is what doesn't work for me: 
-Stress
-Rushing around
-Uncertainty 
-Negativity

Pinterest provided me with the quote at the end of this post. When I think about all I've learned so far it helps me understand why this is happening. The most important lesson I've learned is to slow down and pay attention. I know I have some thing left to learn and then I will be able to move forward. 

I'll be checking in again soon. Happy spring!

Update: Month 2

February ended in an interesting twist of fate. I had a repeat biopsy of the site to completely rule out an infection. I got a call from my infectious disease doctor telling me my tissue sample never made it to the lab. Apparently, pathology looked at it and manipulated it so it was no longer viable to be tested. I was upset, but then I realized...

There is a woman named Jacqui Saburido who appeared on Oprah in 2003. Jacqui was a beautiful 20 year old woman when she was the victim of a drunk driving accident that left her with burns covering 60% of her body. She lost her fingers, hair, ears, nose, lips, and what some would call her "beauty." Oprah asked her how she gets though the day and she responded that she allows herself to cry for five minutes and then moves on. 

When I think of the monumental struggles human beings like Jacqui face on a daily basis, I realize a botched biopsy is so small. There is nothing I can do about it, so I move forward. At this time my doctor does not want to repeat the procedure and frankly, neither do I. I've learned having perspective helps me a lot. There are people in my life who have gone through and are going through things I can't even imagine. I am grateful this is my challenge right now and not something more significant.  

What else happened in February? I went through a colonoscopy/endoscopy, which thankfully came up clear. I could not be happier to rule out Celiac, Crohn's, and Colitis.  

My health coach says I am in the "assessment phase," so I'm still trying to figure out the next steps, but if I compare my pain and overall well-being to a month ago there is definite improvement!  

I plan to continue with dietary changes. I'm introducing more and more meat into my diet through strange practices like asking Chipotle for tiny bit of steak on my veggie burrito bowl and having one or two chicken sausages every day (the only kind of chicken that tastes good to me). There are also couple more test results yet to come in. Then, more follow ups. 

The most exciting news has nothing to do with my health. Zach and I will be traveling to Germany soon. It truly is amazing how dreams and thoughts put out into the universe years ago have a way of coming true. My dream has always been to travel this wild and wonderful world and with little effort on my part this will be our second trip to Europe in two years. There really is so much magic to reach out and grab. 

No More Toxic Armpits

When I looked at the ingredient list on my deodorant and read the warning, "consult doctor if you have kidney disease," I knew it was time for new deodorant. 

Natural deodorants get a bad rap. People say they don't work, which is partially true. Most natural deodorants do not contain an antiperspirant. This is because preventing us from sweating takes chemicals. Chemicals, which I might add, are easily absorbed into the thin skin of our armpits.

I understand the importance of staying dry and I'm ever so lucky that I'm not big sweaty mcsweatypants. As I've read on natural health websites, we sweat to get rid of toxins. I've also read that you sweat more if you use a traditional deodorant, so after a few months on the good stuff and you will start sweating less.

My research led me to Green Tidings All Natural Deodorant in Lavender scent. It really does work. It's a stick deodorant, which is more comfortable to me than a spray or roll-on. The smell is amazing. I love unscrewing the container every morning for a whiff of spicy lavender. It goes on easily and doesn't leave marks on my clothes. I'm in month two of using it and no pit stains.   

The only time I felt a little sweaty was when I was at a retreat with 140 high school students. I was running around and dealing with high pressure situations. Other than that I've felt very dry and sweet smelling. At least I think so.

Yes, it is pricier than other deodorants, but them's the breaks with all non-toxic products. Also, my stick is lasting longer than I've read in reviews.

If you to ditch one conventional personal care product it should be your deodorant. Sweatier, but safer, that's what I always say. 

Update: Month 1

So here I sit, one month in. Today I had the pleasure of meeting with the person I will call my "health coach." While I have struggled with what to call this whole "my body is attacking itself" thing, she put it into the perfect words, this is my "healing journey." She added that the body loves to heal, but I have to be patient. I'm glad I entitled this blog, "Better in One Year," because it looks like it's going to take awhile.  

How far have I come on my healing journey? Not very far, thus my lack of patience. In the last month I have had what feels like hundreds of doctors appointments and thousands of tests, but that's only because I'm prone to exaggeration. I am the proud owner of an endocrinologist, rheumatologist, gastroenterologist, and infectious disease doctor - all who have uttered the words, "I don't know what it is."

What have I found out? The good/bad news is that I have four mild food allergies: milk, casein (in most cheeses), egg whites & egg yolks. So basically my favorite foods. Goodbye, my sweet ice cream - I have loved you well. I also learned I have the gene that makes me susceptible to Celiac Disease, but no antibodies to gluten. People in the alternative & functional medicine world call this a "gluten sensitivity," so goodbye tasty, filling gluten. The reason I say all this is good/bad news is because while it's disappointing to have to give up my favorite foods at least I have one piece of the puzzle.

Physically, I was actually feeling a lot better until recently when I had a relapse in pain. This prompted another MRI - results pending. I also have another very uncomfortable test - which shall not be named - coming up, but nothing really phases me at this point. 

Trying to navigate between traditional medicine, alternative medicine, and functional medicine has been a bit of a challenge. My rheumatoglist says NSAIDs, but my gastro doctor says no NSAIDs. One anti-inflammatory diet book says legumes, the other says no legumes (and, oh how I love legumes and saying the word legumes). At this point, I am just taking in all the expert advice and trying to decide what is best for me. 

The only thing I can ask from my family and friends is understanding. Uncertainty is harder for some folks, than others, and I'm learning it doesn't sit well with me. In fact it doesn't sit at all, it runs very fast to a very deep, dark place. Another person feels chest pain and thinks - oh I must of eaten something that doesn't agree with me, whereas I tend to think I'm dying. My wonderful friend and nurse, Charmane, knows this all too well, as she has taken my temperature and blood pressure too many times to count. At the same time I want to emphasize that this is not all in my head. There is something going on that is making the doctors concerned enough to squeeze me in for next day appointments and order expensive tests.

Also, for a recovering vegetarian (as in I'm trying to eat meat, but I hate it, hate that an animal had to die for me to eat it, and don't have the enzymes to digest it), who can't eat dairy, eggs, or grains, it's going to be pretty hard for me to find something to eat. If I was a chef it might be easier, but I also happen to be a pretty crappy cook. So, as me and my Vitamix embark down the path of smoothies, soups, and nut butters, I'm asking for your tolerance. This is not a fad diet I'm just trying on for size. I truly have to stop harming myself with inflammatory foods and start healing myself with foods that my body can handle. However, I understand this means most of you will never invite me over ever again. Even when I was just a vegetarian I constantly heard, "What is Kerry going eat?" Well, you all thought that was bad...

Anyway, if you have any recipes, please share. If you want to make bone broth for me, so I don't have to touch animal carcasses, please do. Thank you for reading this and walking beside me in this journey, health and otherwise. 

Tweet...

Chronic disease affects 1/2 Americans. 70% don't sleep well. We need to eat & love our way out of this mess. @ClintonFdn #HealthMatters2015
— Mark Hyman, M.D. (@markhymanmd) January 26, 2015

I love how he says "eat & love our way out." That's exactly what I plan to do - emphasis on love. 

Quote...

Time to make an investment. 

Health Check-In

Healing is my #1 priority right now. Healing, so I can be myself again and make all the people (and dog) I love my priority once more.

In order to make sure healing is my priority every day I've started a practice I call "Health Check-In." Every day the first moment I get in front of a computer screen I do a quick check-in. I ask myself: Do I need to make any doctor's appointments today? Do I have enough medication and supplements to last the next few days? Do I need to buy anything or order anything online? And lastly I ask myself - What do you need to feel better today? 

I find doing this check in first thing in the morning helps me move forward and able to think about other things throughout the day. I will admit I'm still struggling to keep my mind off any little symptomatic change in my body, but I have to keep trying. I also do a check-in with each round of medication or supplements I take, morning, noon, evening. Just to make sure healing is my priority throughout the day.

The beautiful thing is I already feel my body healing itself.  

Find the Good

Today I learned the path our of negativity. 

The advice I read is this: Whenever you find yourself seeing the negative in a situation stop and think of 10 positive things to be grateful for about the situation. Find the good. 

Here is what I came up with: 

10 Things to Be Grateful for Right Now

1. I'm grateful to be alive with the opportunity to experience all this world has to offer. I truly believe I'm the luckiest person on this planet. 

2. I'm grateful to have found experts and books by experts that will help me have better health, not just for now, but for the rest of my life. Without this experience I wouldn't know what makes people get better and stay healthy.

3. I'm grateful for the amazing conversations I've had with the people in my life about health and wellness. I've learned so much from all the different perspectives. 

4. I'm grateful for the support of my friends and family. I'm grateful for anyone whose reached out to me or offered a kind word or suggestion. I'm even getting way more hugs out of Zach lately.  

5. I'm grateful for a job with sick days and a very understanding boss and coworkers. Not everyone has flexibility in the workplace.  

6. I'm grateful for all the medical tests, which have ruled out many potential issues. Medical science is truly amazing.  

7. I'm grateful that I'm no longer afraid of MRIs, anesthesia, or talking about embarrassing things with doctors. You can stick me with any kind of needle you want and wiggle it around in my arm - won't phase me. I can also swallow super big pills now. 

8. I'm even more grateful than before about all the things I love and love to do. This sounds stupid, but watching Big Bang Theory has helped so much. Also, I am so grateful that when I'm writing I completely forget about whatever pain or strange symptom I have in that moment. 

9. On a lighter note, I'm grateful for my new heating pad and electric blanket that give me hours of comfort and relief. Ah, warmth.   

10. I'm grateful for my new outlook on life and health. I no longer take my health for granted and feel ready to make real and lasting changes. It's the motivation I needed to get back on track and stay on track.   

Turns out I'm one lucky lady, but I already knew that. 

Makeup Makeover: 100% Pure

Sometimes you need a makeover and sometimes your makeup needs a makeover. 

My doctor mentioned I may not be processing toxins as well as the average person causing my increased inflammation. Her suggestion was to remove as many toxins from my environment as possible. She wanted me to replace any of my beauty products with toxic ingredients, because all beauty products are absorbed through the skin. 

When I heard this I immediately thought, "Yay! New makeup!"

I did a lot of internet research and learned the natural beauty and personal care world is a lot of smoke and mirrors. There are many false claims on labels much like the natural food world. To find out which cosmetics are actually safe, my doctor pointed me in the direction of the Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep Cosmetics Database. Apparently, it's the gold standard of product safety ratings. My doctor recommended I only use products rated between 0 and 3. The lower the better. 

I spent some time reading posts on natural living blogs and on makeup websites. Something to know about me is that I have a sick obsession that all my makeup must be the same brand. It has to match, so this means any brand I chose had to offer powder, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, and lipstick or gloss. I learned this is rare in toxin-free cosmetics.

I narrowed it down to 100% Pure and Ava Anderson. Both seem like great options for one stop shopping for non-toxic makeup. 

I eventually decided on 100% Pure for the following reasons: 

1. Safety - There whole claim to fame is safe, non-toxic, high quality ingredients. Also, the products are cruelty-free, vegan, and made in America. On Skin Deep 100% Pure is rated 0-3.   

2. Close By- There is a 100% Pure store in Woodfield Mall not far from me where I could test the products before I bought them. 

3. Semi-affordable - Living a toxin-free lifestyle isn't cheap, but as I embark on this journey I must take into consideration the long term costs of putting toxins in my body. I will be saving in health care costs and I can't put a price on living vibrantly and pain free. That being said 100% Pure is more expensive than drug store brands, but less expensive than most department store brands. 

4. Good reviews - None of the products available on amazon are rated below 4 stars. 

5. Variety - The cosmetic line is only the beginning. 100% Pure has offers skin care, hair care, body care, even nail polish. 

The product containers are so cute & pretty and made with recycled materials. Keep in mind most do not come with applicators or brushes. 100% Pure sells cruelty-free brushes that are not outrageously priced, but I wasn't ready to commit. 

I like a natural makeup look, but there are many colors available. Here are the products and colors I purchased: 

Fruit Pigmented Healthy Skin Foundation Powder in White Peach 
Fruit Pigmented Long Lasting Concealer in White Peach
Fruit Pigmented Blush in Pretty Naked
Fruit Pigmented Eye Shadow in Champagne 
Fruit Pigmented Eye Shadow in Flax Seed 
Creamy Long Last Liner in Blackest
Fruit Pigmented Mascara in Black Tea  
Fruit Pigmented Lip Gloss in Naked 

My only complaint was that the mascara gave me raccoon eyes after only a few hours. Then, I put the concealer on first, powder second, and it cleared that problem right up. 

So far I have been happy with my purchase. The colors are bright & beautiful, and I feel safe putting it on my skin.   

#bestthingtoday

This is a reflective practice based on gratitude. Every day I choose the best thing that happened and Tweet about it using the hashtag #bestthingtoday. I didn't invent this concept, nor do I know whether or not I'm the only person using this hashtag, but I do know it helps me look for the good in every day.  

To see my #bestthingtoday, follow me on Twitter @kerryjheckman. 

Let me know if you start your own #bestthingtoday practice. 

Quote...

Tweet...

My new favorite toxin-free makeup company just tweeted me. 

@kerryjheckman thanks for the #follow! #HNY! <3
— 100% Pure (@100percentpure) January 2, 2015

5 New Year's Resolutions for 2015

1. Eat a whole food diet. No "food product." Having tried this before I know it's not easy, so I will be blogging during my darkest moments.

2. Remove toxins from my environment. This will include: mostly drinking filtered water, changing out beauty products to use only safe cosmetics, using only BPA-free containers, buying safe household cleaners or making my own, etc.

3. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise. At least 4 days a week. I love yoga, so why do I never go?! Maybe my brand new yoga mat will inspire me. 

4. Practice 1 stress reducing technique per week. Meditation, acupuncture, read for an hour with no interruptions, take a long walk with Scooter in the forest preserve.

5. Donate or volunteer every day. Give to others to get back. 

Start Somewhere

You must start somewhere. Many of us with chronic illness are told there is nothing we can do. Well, that simply does not fit my personality. There is ALWAYS something you can do. 

How does change happen? In my experience it happens with a jump start and is followed by persistence, persistence, persistence. In addition, I think the most important component of change is forgiveness. You will falter. You will fail. And when that happens you must forgive yourself and keep going.

The week before 2015 I found my jump start. I went to a Functional Medicine doctor with expertise in autoimmune disorders. See more about Functional Medicine. The meeting was hopeful, inspiring, and just what I needed to commit to a major life change. 

My doctor suggested genetic testing and food allergy testing to get a better diagnostic picture. Each piece of the puzzle will steer me in the right direction.  

How can I keep this momentum going into the new year? The plan is to set big goals, but make small changes over a long period of time. I hope to write a blog post on December 31st, 2015 entitled "The Best Health of My Life."